Why we burn out & how we get back to crushing it

We all start out strong. Growing up, we’re taught that success is clear and measurable: good grades, athletic accomplishments, clear-cut goals. It’s like being in a car with our foot on the gas, cruising along a smooth road with a clear destination. But somewhere along the way, the road changes. Success isn’t as clear or as measurable. And getting things right suddenly feels a lot harder. When we were younger, we knew exactly how to stay on the “right path.” But the very ways we used to motivate ourselves in those early years often become the key to burnout as adults.

In high school and college, life came with a map. Success was easy to define: work hard, get good grades, achieve in sports, earn praise. There was a familiar rhythm to it all, like clockwork. Nights spent cramming for exams or pushing through late-night practices felt manageable because the rewards were immediate and tangible. A good grade, a victory, a trophy—these were clear markers of progress. Perfection was within reach, so we kept our foot on the gas, thinking that if we just stayed on this track, we’d get to wherever we wanted to go.

But as we enter the workforce, the smooth, predictable road starts to shift beneath us. The markers we’re used to disappear, replaced by murkier definitions of success. We’re told to get internships, secure that first job, and build a career—tasks that sound straightforward until we’re actually in them. Suddenly, we’re faced with expectations that aren’t as defined. Success isn’t something we can measure by grades or points on a scoreboard. We’re thrown into a world where hard work doesn’t always lead to recognition, where success is more about relationships and office dynamics than simply “getting it right.”

The car feels less steady now. We’re still pushing toward the vague ideal of “doing it right,” but the road is a lot bumpier, and the stakes feel higher. Managing up, learning workplace politics, and making inevitable mistakes in front of people with years more experience is disorienting. There’s no longer a clear rubric to follow, so we try to hang on to the only thing we know—perfectionism. If I only get this part right, then I’ll be recognized. If I don’t, then I’m not enough.

We don’t even realize it, but our internal dialogue becomes a series of impossible expectations: don’t make mistakes, keep pushing, and compare yourself to those who seem to have it all figured out.

Over time, these expectations weigh us down. Work becomes a grind, and the passion we started with starts to fade. Days feel like survival, and the weekends become a short-lived escape to recharge before it starts all over again. We find ourselves in a cycle of burnout.

The drive to be perfect—the very thing that used to give us purpose—now feels more like a cage than a guide.

Here’s the thing: the patterns that helped us feel accomplished and worthy in our younger years don’t fit anymore. We’re using the same rules in a world that plays by a different game. Perfectionism might have worked when success was clear-cut, but in adulthood, it’s a recipe for exhaustion and endless self-doubt. And it’s not a personal flaw; it’s just that our road map has to change with the terrain.

To get back to truly feeling alive, we have to be willing to step out of that car entirely. The road to fulfillment isn’t a straight shot to one perfect destination. It’s a journey where sometimes we need to let go of control, explore, and try new paths that weren’t on the map we started with. Curiosity, rather than constant achievement, can be the compass. What would we try if we didn’t need to do it perfectly? What could success look like if it didn’t require us to prove our worth?

Stepping out of that car doesn’t mean abandoning ambition; it means finding a new way to move forward that allows us to feel fulfilled without burning out. The journey is no longer about perfect outcomes but about discovering new ways of defining success—through learning, connection, and growth that doesn’t have to look like a win on a scorecard.

So if you’re feeling that familiar burnout, take it as a sign to pause. Ask yourself if the expectations you’re carrying still serve you. Try setting goals that reflect what truly matters to you now, not what the old playbook told you should matter. Success doesn’t have to be about keeping the pedal pressed down at all times. Sometimes, it’s about letting yourself explore, creating space for something unexpected, and finding value in the journey itself. Burnout isn’t a sign you’ve failed—it’s a signal that it’s time to redefine the road you’re on.

Letting go of perfection isn’t giving up; it’s opening up. Open the door, step out of the car, and see where else you might go. The journey is just beginning, and it doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be yours.